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WOWIFLI — A Hidden Gem August 8, 2005 – 10:38 a.m. – Permalink

Scientists have discovered water on Mars.

There are few sites on the Web that actually make you laugh. Brian’s blog is definitely one of those. His down–to–earth everyday posts are truly a gem of the Web.

Above: Scientists have discovered water on Mars.

One of the things in his blog is WOWIFLI. Yes, that’s right. Whatever Of Whenever I Feel Like It. WOWIFLI is a compendium of funny quotes from everyday life. To the right is a list of permalinks each to the different WOWIFLIs from February to now.

Unfortunately, Brian discontinued WOWIFLI after June saying, “They're easier during the school year because people say stupid things.” And as the school year is starting up again soon, I compiled a list if classic WOWIFLIs for you all to read before laughing your socks off on Brian’s blog.

Note » Edited 1) for privacy and 2) for space. All content used with permission. At WOWIFLI #22 Brian seemed to have a mathematic breakdown and accidentally duplicated #22. The duplicate of #22 will be considered #23, #23 being #24, and so on.

#1
“Remember — in video games, as in life, there is no problem that cannot be overcome through the sufficient application of missiles.” — An FAQ I read recently
#3
“Isn’t it funny that they put a double yellow line right in the middle of the road?” — My sister
#12
“I’ve got a pimple that just won't ... pimp!” — Pat
#14
...
(Chorus)
But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees
...
#18
Someone: hi
Someone: what were you doing
Brian: I’m writing a script for a movie in which I clone myself
Brian: you?
Someone: talkingto other people
Brian: Well in my movie I’m going to talk to myself. Who is another person ....
Brian: you know, since I clone myself ....
Brian: humor. ha ha. laugh
#22
My sister: hi.
My sister: hello?
My sister: anyone here?
My sister: I know you can hear me.
My sister: or perhaps your have been sucked into an alternate dimension?
My sister: Time traveling?
My sister: Combating evil jello?
My sister: Writing a spy novel?
My sister: painting a still life composed of potatoes and a lava lamp?
My sister: eating?
My sister: infiltrating government computer systems?
My sister: sneezing?
Brian: I’M HERE
My sister: Yay! where were you?
Brian: I’ve been sitting right here for the past 4 hours
My sister: well, why weren’t you talking?
Brian: because my internet was down
My sister: oooo. amazing!
My sister: does it have anything to do with wormholes?
My sister: or monkeys?
Brian: nope
My sister: or dwarfs?
My sister: or michal eisner?
Brian: no and no
Brian: possibly
My sister: or lava?
My sister: or math?
My sister: or food?
My sister: or clowns?
Brian: perhaps I will block you. Then you will stop talking
My sister: or the end of time?
My sister: or tennis?
My sister: or Guatamala?
My sister: are you still there?
My sister: have you gone to Canda?
Brian: stop
My sister: stop what?
My sister: I just started?
My sister: that was not supposed to be a question mark.
My sister: i know your’e there.
Brian: barely
My sister: why barely?
Brian: tired
My sister: ok. maybe you should go to bed.
My sister: or timbucktoo.
My sister: or the middle ages.
My sister: or another galaxy.
My sister: inhabited by triangular people!
My sister: with ray guns.
My sister: who eat rocks!
My sister: Are you ignoring me?
My sister: you're ignoring me.
My sister: I can tell.
Brian signed off at 10:43:13 PM.
#24
Ricky: I hate my life
Brian: Don’t worry, Ricky, I hate your life too.